1. An address book with all of your exes’ contact info. While you’re hiking the Pacific Crest Trail you’re bound to gain clarity about past relationships. Once that crisp Sierra Nevada air hits your lungs, you’ll be enlightened about all sorts of things, like how Nate’s reluctance to watch movies with strong female characters was really about his own fear of losing relevance in a changing world. Pen your insights about what “went wrong” immediately in a thoughtful but unnecessary letter to poor Nate, which you can mail at the next PCT resupply point. You’ll gain tons of wisdom about all your past loves, so be sure to put a roll of Forever stamps and personalized stationery in your REI Gossamer Gear backpack.
2. Those energy drink rebates you’ve ignored on your dining room table for the past month. If you simply fill them out, Redbull will send you $4.63 in 8 to 10 weeks. That’s like 1 night’s rent at a rice field bungalow in Ubud, Indonesia. Come on! You’ve got the time to kill! It’s a 25-hour flight to Bali, and SkyMall doesn’t exist anymore. Throw those bad boys in your carry-on.
3. The $40 Anastasia Contour Kit from Sephora. How do you highlight? Why are we supposed to change the shape of our faces? Am I too cheekboney? GREAT questions to ask while casually waiting to bump into a young lover under the Tuscan sun.
4. An unopened copy of Mastering the Art of French Cooking. You bought that cookbook because you loved Meryl Streep in the Julia Child biopic. But between work, and spin classes, volunteering, taking that screenwriting class, and the occasional Tinder date, who has the energy to actually make a cherry clafouti? Now that you’re taking a break and venturing on an Eat-Pray-Love-style vacay, you’ll definitely find time to whisk up a bourguignon sauce.
5. Your 6-cup Chemex Pourover Coffee Maker. Getting your groove back in Jamaica requires caffeination. Better bring your own coffee supplies. God only knows if they have good coffee in the Caribbean, right?
6. 27,632 lipsticks. Gallivanting the globe requires the perfect lip color. Will Ruby Woo work for photos in front of ancient ruins? Is Eternal Rose the best shade for the beach? Can’t decide? Bring them all of them…glosses, stains, liners…ALL.
7. An iPad so you can watch Minimalism: A Documentary About Important Things. Your friends won’t shut up about this documentary. Everyone’s saying it’s inspired them to declutter and more fully live their lives. What better time to finally watch it than on a spiritually transformative solo adventure! Not enough room in your luggage? Don’t worry. It’s only $25 to check another bag, which you can fill up with handmade goods from that artisanal market. Everything’s cheaper in Morocco!