Valerie Nies is a comedian, writer, and gluten enthusiast living in Austin, Texas. 

She's written for humor sites McSweeney's and Reductress, and her sketches have been featured on Jezebel, Bitch, Salon, Huffington Post, and Grub Street. She's performed standup at the Out of Bounds Comedy Festival and the Big-Little Comedy Festival and won screenplay awards for multiple sitcom pilots and spec scripts that never aired. 

She spends a good deal of her free time scanning WebMD and ridding her clothing of cat hair. 

Find her on twitter @valerieknees.